The power of creating healthy boundaries for yourself
Have you ever said yes to something when you really wanted to say no? Or, in contrast, how did you feel when you didn’t follow through with doing something that was really important to you? Take a moment to remember how you felt when doing/not doing whichever task.
How did you feel about yourself?
When thinking about boundaries, I like to think about it as a separate entity.
As though there’s a little “you” inside of yourself. Now, this “you” – let’s name them, Epic (because he/she is just that, Epic ) – is the ultimate you. They are the most authentic version of yourself. Epic is someone who is everything that you are.
Every time that you say yes, when you feel like saying no – or every time you break promises to yourself when you really want to keep them – you are hiding Epic more and more inside of you.
Personally, I have found that the more that you listen to Epic and give it what it wants – the more confident, proud, and loved you feel.
All of these amazing results happen because you lived as Epic would.
What are your thoughts on this?
The more you live by your boundaries, the more Epic you are.
You see what I did there?
So, the question remains :
How do we live by our Epic Rules?
Below, I will take you through various ways to strengthen your connection to the Epic version of yourself to result in you creating healthy boundaries.
Say ‘No’ when Epic says No.
You have to note that every time that you say Yes to others based on the fact that you don’t want to upset them. You are saying No to Epic, in return. Of course it’s okay to say yes and put others before yourself but to do it all the time tells yourself that your needs and wants aren’t important.
You have to trust Epic. It’s important to remind yourself often that how you feel is important.
Also, you’ve got to realize that Epic would not lie to you if they were not feeling alright with something. 10/10 times if Epic doesn’t feel right about a decision, it’s because it’s not right.
Trust and let go.
Don’t break promises between you and Epic
Let’s say that you made the decision to really get your health in order. You tell yourself “I’m going to wake up tomorrow, go for a run and start eating healthy.”
You and Epic have made a decision together to make you more like Epic. Epic is now excited, epic is happy and pumped to see you succeed.
Then comes the next day and you bail. You think to yourself “I really wanted to but… I don’t know – I guess I’ll do it some other time”.
Guess what? Epic no longer believes you. They hurt that you backed down on your word and no longer trust you to make decisions.
Obviously, this doesn’t happen after one or two times but if you do this again and again to multiple areas of your life – the trust between you and your inner strength is going to be shattered leaving it hard to mend the broken pieces. But don’t worry, it’s not impossible!
Listen to Epic - It’s continuously trying to connect with you
You may be wondering, “How am I even supposed to know what Epic wants?”.
If you’ve ever heard that little voice at the back of your head, felt that pang in your stomach when doing something you didn’t want to do.
That’s Epic. It’s important to check in with it often. The more you clearly ask yourself “what is it exactly that I want to do?” and stick with it – the stronger the voice gets. The trust strengthens and you’ll begin to hear the voice loud and clear.
Stick with your beliefs and values
Another way to check in with Epic is to stick with what you value and believe in.
Here are some values or personal beliefs that are examples of values one might have :
- Being a conscious spender
- Advocating for certain rights
- Hanging around people who build you up
- Spending lots of time with family
There are so many values out there that you could be valuing and prioritising. It’s important to listen to these values and really tend to them. Feed that voice in you what it wants. Fill up your love tank by actively doing things that means a lot to you. Or vice versa, if there’s something you believe in NOT doing – it’s sticking to that and making sure you don’t do it.
You have to remember that you are the ultimate version of yourself. Sticking to your boundaries, your personal beliefs and values strengthens the connection between you and your inner most truest self.
Give yourself the attention, the love, and care that you deserve. Listen and follow through with your promises to yourself and you could never disappoint yourself.
Soon, you will find that saying “yes” and “no” in certain situations will leave you feeling validated and loved since you trusted yourself enough to make the right decision for your happiness.
I believe in you! Now, go and be EPIC!